


My Idiot Brother(s)

by Huffordle



Category: James Bond - All Media Types, Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms
Genre: Bondlock, Humor, M/M, Meet the Family, little bit of a sicfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-18
Updated: 2014-02-18
Packaged: 2018-01-12 23:28:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,280
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1204483
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Huffordle/pseuds/Huffordle
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sherlock has decided to break into his little brother's flat, but when James gets home before Q, the entire thing flops on its head.</p><p>(Sorry I'm terrible at summaries!)</p>
            </blockquote>





	My Idiot Brother(s)

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: These characters are not mine! They belong to Ian Fleming and BBC!!!!

Q was just finishing a repair to one of the firewalls on MI6's server when his phone buzzed. It was a notification from his flat that someone had broken in. James had been on his way home, so he probably just hit the wrong digits on his way in from over tiredness. Q looked briefly at the security camera set up to his living room.

 _Bloody Hell._ He thought. His idiot brother was sitting on his couch grinning like he just won a million pounds.

The Quartermaster turned away from the screen to get back to his firewall. After a moment of coding, he froze as his brain put two and two together. Here's what he realized:

1) Sherlock was sitting in the flat Q shared with James.  
2) James is on his way home.  
3) James has never met Sherlock.  
4) Sherlock is an asshole and will probably give James a reason to shoot.

Q practically dove over his workbench to grab his phone. He dialed James but was pushed straight to voice mail. _Damn it! Why doesn't he ever charge his phone?_

Next he tried Sherlock's phone, which the git waited to answer until the fourth ring.

"Get your stupid arse out of my flat," Q all but growled in greeting.

"Oh, bother, I thought I made it in without tipping you off," He could see Sherlock smirk at the camera.

"No, really, get out. My partner is on his way home, and he can be very-" Q was cut off by the sound of a gun cocking behind Sherlock's head. Q looked over to the video feed and there James was poised and ready to kill. "Shit. Put me on speaker."

Before Sherlock could even move his thumb to find the button, James snatched the phone from his hand and ended the call.

"Who are you?" James barked as he shifted into 007 mode - calm but deadly.

Sherlock, not to be out done,, decided that when someone has a gun to your head, all you can do is be all kinds of unhelpful.

"Well, you would know by now if you hadn't ended that phone call."

"Fine, but now I'm asking you,"

Sherlock turned slowly to extend a hand to shake, "Sherlock Holmes, Consulting Detective," James did _not_ shake the proffered hand but re-aimed his gun to the man's forehead.

"And why are you in my flat?"

"Oh, so this is your flat now? Max never mentioned that," Sherlock took a deep breath, about to begin his deductions (which would probably get himself killed) when his phone began to buzz. James reached over and picked it up. 

"Hello?" James answered without even checking the caller ID, his eyes trained on Sherlock.

"James. Oh thank god. Please don't shoot the prat right in front of you," Q blurted out hoping _this_ call wouldn't be cut short.

"Q?" James looked from the phone to Sherlock and back again. Sherlock rolled his eyes and picked the phone out of the double-oh's hand.

"Oh, for god's sake, Max, he's dumber than the last one!" Sherlock spouted as soon as speakerphone was enabled. He actually looked disappointed at this.

"Sherlock, for once in your entire bloody life just shut up. I will be home in twenty minutes. James if he starts talking, just don't make it lethal ok?" the line went dead.

The two men sat in complete silence until Q walked in the door.

00Q~00Q~00Q~00Q~00Q~00Q~00Q~00Q~00Q~00Q~00Q~00Q~00Q

Q's entrance was quite like always, but both men on the couch snapped their head up with questions on their faces. Q ignored them for tea.

Once the tea was finished, he sat down next to James and sighed, "James, this is my tyrant of a brother, Sherlock. Sherlock, as I'm sure you've already 'deduced' or whatever you're calling it nowadays this is my partner James."

Bond, at this put down the gun and gave Q a look that said "Sorry for almost shooting your brother."

"Sherlock, you can leave now," Q hoped he would just go, there's no need for anything...embarrassing to be exchanged.

"Woah, no. I want childhood stories and awkward nicknames!" James was _way_ too excited about this, as Q should have guessed.

"I'll have Mycroft send you the home videos" Sherlock said in a bored tone, but ended it with a wink. Q was certainly in trouble.

Before Bond could even ask Q butted in with his near mind-reading skill, "Mycroft is my other brother. The oldest of us. Its just _Sherly_ here and Mycroft before you ask. Oh, and if a black car pulls up and a woman named Athena" "Anthea now brother" "Ok, _Anthea_ asks you to get in, just do it."

Bond, who was taking this situation rather well just looked at Q, " _Max_? Really? Mycroft, Sherlock and _Max_?"

"It's short for Maximum. Which I _know_ is not even a name," Q muttered looking at his tea trying to hide from his partner's stare.

James almost fell off the couch from laughter from the look of disgust on Q's face.

"Sherlock, if you don't leave now, I'll delete every scrap of paperwork you've ever completed for the Met and you'll have to do it all over again. And don't think I didn't see you take a picture just then you idiot."

Sherlock scampered out at that knowing Q would certainly follow up on that threat.

00Q~00Q~00Q~00Q~00Q~00Q~00Q~00Q~00Q~00Q~00Q~00Q~00Q

A month later:

Q heard the door open slowly. _Ahh so James is home_ he thought sleepily. Q had never been very good at being sick and now he had Strep.Isn't that lovely? Q branch was probably in shambles by now.

"Sorry I took so long, love. I got a little caught up," James murmured as he bent down to kiss Q's forehead.

Q shuffled into the kitchen to follow James. "Where'd you get that?" The sleepy boffin asked while pushing his glasses back onto his nose and nodding at the bowl of soup in front of him.

"I was walking home and I passed a little store selling it and I thought it might make you feel better." the double-oh said almost _too_ nonchalantly but Q couldn't actually care.

Q ate the soup curled up on the couch while Bond played with is hair.

This specific soup, was in fact, Q's favorite soup from a little store halfway across London. This fact was only know by his brothers for blackmailing purposes.

As Q realized this he sat up a little bit to look James in the eye, "So, I see you met Mycroft," he tried for an intelligently superior tone, but he just sounded like a dying frog that smoked two packs a day fro twenty years.

"What makes you say that?"

"This soup. Only Sherlock and Mycroft know about it and Sherlock can barely even take care of himself and only gets it for me when he wants something."

James just hummed noncommittally.

"That bad huh?" If his brothers sent James pack like they had for every other boyfriend or partner he had he would kill them.

"No, not bad. Just weird." James reached over and rubbed Q's back as a coughing fit enveloped him. "You do realize your brothers are crazy right?"

"Of course I do!" Q _tried_ to inflict disdain into his voice, it just wasn't possible, "I lived with them for fifteen bloody years!"

"Then i am terribly sorry," James had a glimmer of a smile on his lips and Q just laughed until he couldn't tell the laughs from the coughs.

**Author's Note:**

> I will give you internet cookies for love!!!


End file.
